if i were to tell you who ram was, i'd be here forever. he is my god, my guru, my one man, my true love, my whole reason for being, my life. he is beyond words. he is the true silence.

 

he sleeps with me, i eat with him. he is my eagle and my hummingbird. he is the dribblings of rain on my chin when i lick leaves. he is the leaf itself.

 

in a way, i suppose i am him, so much inside of me is he. in two words, i guess he is The One.

 

i could tell you stories about a man who lived in a cave in india, that i'm better with dead people than living, but truly he lives inside my very cells, my gut, my sinew, more vibrantly than any dream of a human being.

he IS being.

 

 

 

How It Started

 

Rama sliced Ana’s heart wide open

and a million hummingbirds came

clattering out, the sky teeming

with ruby and moss and loose

feathers. Ana just could not

pull herself together, she knew

that she was dead, and look,

just look! what lived now

in her stead, the vivid flow

of nectar and wings shimmer

shimmering and deeply drinking

every vibrant thing in.

 

ONE

 

When his love flowers through,

I am hopeless but to be his lover

arms fondling every tress

of his creation – the lid

of garbage cans is Him,

plastic flowers I have to kiss,

helpless to resist His

Heaven-scented beauty,

tongue, heart, lips

licking tendril clouds

used-up leaves, mislaid

rings for keys, all of it

is He, He whispers

through the reeds,

In every single thing,

find me. And I do,

stroking, rocking,

holding lost parts

of his body, fear

and loss and greed,

bullets, blame,

disease, all of it

His holy kingdom,

of which I am a vassal

and a fool, stupid

with love for Him,

smitten with the dream

of His entire Being.

 

MARRY ME, HE SAID

 

And I shall wear a white dress

of lace and bird froth and a

veil of air, and a ring on my hand

of twined grasses twelve shades of moss,

and I shall sing thy name to the heavens,

my lover, my spouse, my man,

 

my healer, my deepest pleasure,

my master, my holiest Ram.

 

I shall sing your beauty forever

from this heart that was born

of you, and bear all of your joys

and sorrows in our love –

 

I DO !! I DO! I DOOOOO!!!!

 

in our love that is pure and true

and your silence, o darling Rama,

hums through my fingers and limbs

 

as I lift them up to our mountain,

in the wildest, Ana Ram Ramana hymn.